January 27, 2004

Caught up

I'm up late, and I'm here... and that's really all I am. I can't find anything inside of me that seems to mean anything to me anymore. I feel alone and empty, and no one cares. I'm not suicidal, anymore; I just want to feel that spark of life, that breathe of the soul, that one thing that keeps you going... I know it's out there, probably sitting right next to my prince charming, but I'll find both of them come hell or high water, I will find them.

I'm still stuck on him, prince charming I mean. I have come to the realization though that he won't be perfect. I don't expect him to be, I just expect him to love me with all that he has, and I'll give him the same. I just want a companion, someone to love me for me and not what I can do for them.

Is all the world hung up on themselves, are they wrapped up on what they can get out of life that they forget everyone else? I see so many people wrapped up in who's dating who that I get physically sickened by the sound of the words " Did you hear about...?"

No, I didn't hear about them! And I don't care to!

Smile, everyone's watching... hide, no one wants to see....

January 07, 2004

Plywood prison

Well, it's other lame night, spent in my lame house watching alright tv. I'm so bored. The mundane is constant, and I feel trapped in a snowglobe. I'm screaming at the top of my tiny lungs for someone, anyone to come shake this thing up and to make it interesting. I'm grounded until I learn to "share my thoughts in a way to be understood." I'm confined to my plywood prison until further notice and am not even being guarenteed visitation rights..

Parents suck.