July 07, 2005

Time to find a new writing place

So I've gone and done the college orientation thing. I didn't get a lot of time with the people I went up there to see but it was good.

I met a guy and his name is Matt. I hung out with him until 4 am the night I had to spend there for orientation. He left a shirt he'd been wearing downstairs and when Becca had forgotten something down there and asked me to go get it, I grabbed them both. It was a good excuse to get to see him again. ^_^ So when I gave him back his shirt I gave him my digits too. We talked and everything just clicked. I'm smitten and it's one of the best feelings ever.

I don't know. I know that this is awesome and I'm deliriously happy. He makes me smile and believes in treating me right. He's sweet and a big geek, we talk constantly and just seem to fit. I know that he's cute and that I can't wait to be with him and in his arms, but I don't know what to do about everything I had planned for fall. I don't want to give him up; I don't want to get something great going only to throw it to the wind for chance. I like stability in a life where I haven't had much.

Everything just seems to be falling into place for the most part and it's all strange. I feel like this is all going to crumble like I don't deserve it. This overwhelming happiness is such a foreign concept to me and I guess I'm just waiting for it all to fall apart. Which a horrible thing I know but I just don't know what to do with myself.

I can't write anything at the moment. It's as if the well of my imagination has gone dry. Perhaps it is because all the woe and misery I have felt for so long has been pushed out of sight. And if this is so, I don't want it back so soon. Maybe it's time to find a new muse, a happier muse that presses me to be amazing in my happiness.

Maybe.. just maybe this feeling is going to last.

1 Comments:

Blogger TheJoe said...

Good, good, happy changes.

Let's liven the mood with a brighter background, eh?

7:46 PM  

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