August 31, 2005

Happiness bubbles

I'm just going to burst with them.

I feel like a fizzy and overly carbonated drink, and it's the best I've felt in a very long time.

Thank you.

August 28, 2005

And maybe tomorrow too

I got what I wanted. I have what I've been waiting for. He is mine and I am his. This is cause for celebration. Well, okay maybe not that extreme, but I'm happy.

Look I know that this is going to be hard on me, but I've missed him hardcore since I left and yeah I still miss him but this has replaced a lot of that. I'm all warm and gushy inside. This may not last, I'm not sure if anything really does, I like to think so, but the fact is that I may not be done looking. I just... I'm happy dammit. I'm not worried about when it'll end, I'm just happy that is started and that for a while at least we'll be together. That's good enough for me.

I won't say he's good enough for forever because I don't know. I don't know if it's a marriage bound thing, but I do know he's good enough for today. That's a pretty awesome feeling.

August 23, 2005

So I'm here

I've arrived at college. I'm here. Wow.

I was definitely not ready, well I mean, materially I was ready for the apocalypse, but mentally I wasn't fully aware of everything I was getting myself into. I am so just blah and feel overwhelmed, but it’s passing.

My roommate doesn’t suck. There are minor points that of course you are going to clash on, but nothing I think I'm going to have to cut a bitch for. I can stand her and that's good enough for me. She’s starting to grow on me, kinda like algae, but in a much better way.

Yeah, she's better than algae.

August 19, 2005

Here's hoping

It's like the calm before a storm, or maybe like the infinite peace of mind that comes right before you die. I have no idea which is better maybe a mix of both is what it's really like. Maybe it’s like the calm before the next great adventure, yeah I'm sure that's it.

They gave me cake. It means a lot that I'll be missed and that they all feel like an extended family for me. I've only known them for a couple of months but I hung out with them a lot more than my own family this summer. Work really does consume a lot of time when you like what you do. It'll be weird not getting up and going there when I say I have to work. I'm going to miss them, but it's not like its a forever goodbye. That would be really bad.

No, you know what I feel like? I feel like I'm on one of those lazy man walkways that they have at the airport. I'm moving forward and I have no choice. I can't jump the railing I just have to keep riding it to the other end. I just can't see the other end. I'm sure it'll be all good. I hope it'll all be good.

August 15, 2005

Leaving doesn't mean never again

Getting ready to leave is perhaps the hardest part of all of this. Leaving won't be much easier. It's not the way of life I'm going to miss leaving, no most definitely not. It's going to be the people I met this summer who can't come with me.