September 28, 2005

Had to

How you really say "I love you." by lenatheraven
...believe in true love?
Your hands sayI'm always here even if you have to reach for me.
Your eyes sayYou're amazing.
Your hugs sayI promise I will try to keep you safe.
Your kisses sayI am addicted to you.
Your body saysI just want to hold you.
Your heart saysTe amo.
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September 13, 2005

Puzzle pieces all over again

I'm better and love is grand.

That's what I want to tell you. But sitting here I feel as if something is still missing from my life. Perhaps I'm supposed to feel this way, so that I always have something to be working toward.

My mother was never a complete person. She has told me so herself and explained that because of her own failings I will never be a complete person. I think that this is crap. My mother cannot predetermine my soul's existence. It is not something that is genetically inhierited. My soul is my responsibility.

There are lots of things it could be, but I don't know how to pinpoint one causation and tell it to go to hell because I'm happy. I am. I can say that with all truth and sincerity.

I am happy overall. Sure there is something missing, but it is just another part of me to discover, something else to work toward. I'm okay with that I like finding pieces of me, I just don't like how I feel without them.

September 02, 2005


I have kidney stones.

It sucks a lot and I currently have a silicon tube shoved up my ureter which just feels like a large misplaced tampon. I am very sore and very out of it but thought this needed to be posted.

They are going to be broken up so that they are smaller and I can pass them on Tuesday.

I'm going to bed now.