December 11, 2005

Love me, that's all I ask of you

I want you to kiss me and never let go. Let's lose ourselves in each other and find comfort that we're together. Don't love me the way that I love you; just love me that's all I ask.

I realize now that since the definition of love differs for every person, so do then the ways in which we love. I understand now that the things I expect are not the same you are used to giving and that is okay. Concessions must be made on both sides.

Things don't feel the same as they used to, at least not on my side. Perhaps I am just being hypersensitive to the situation, but it all feels awkward to me now. I'm still hoping that things will go back to the way they were, but in order to move on I must give up any hope for a better past.

It is obvious that I am very attached. But at times I feel so far behind and that I just.. have so much more to learn. I have trouble learning from my own mistakes and when it comes to matters of the heart I am usually dominated by feelings of love and fear. I always find myself waiting for the end, knowing that it will come because nothing seems to last. There is always the fear that I will drive you away or that you'll find someone better, and in playing it safe and trying not to give you reasons I seem to be giving you some of the best.

No more worrying about you leaving because you're not gone. I'm not going to hold anything back fearing that I will either be too much, or after bearing all, be too much. People come and go, that's the way of it all, but you just have the now to enjoy the time you have with them for memories are cold companions next to a warm heart.

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