March 18, 2006

Legacies left unsaid

I'm getting back into slam poetry.. I was thinking about doing it at the open mic night this Thursday. The problem is I'm scared. I'm afraid that I get up there and lay down the harder bits and broken pieces of me and that I won't really say anything. I have all these words and I can fit them together to make senteces and string them together to make paragraphs and whole conversations with other people but I can't bring myself to actually say anything. Nothing's real. I'm a copy of poets past and once original ideas that are still searching for the right ways to be said. I don't think I'm the one to do it though... I am not the revolution.. I am not a revolutionary. I'm just a down-to-earth chick who is out to change the world one mind at a time by just being me, and one day teaching my unoriginality to the brightest star in the sky. That'll be my legacy.


I never thought I'd leave one behind. Just uncoherent phrases that mean nothing to no one inparticular. So many have left legacies with me, with kindness, friendship, and love. Though time is always fleeting I have enough footprints to cover all the steps I have ever walked. Each one is precious.

But my footprints in Cleveland grow cold, like his body in the hard Pennsylvania earth. And that hurts to write; hurts to think about, hurts to know. So I'm dealing by not dealing. My mantra.