November 11, 2006

Jonesing for another hit

Because you told me not to demean your love for me...
Because you told me once that you'd do anything for me...
Because there was that single moment in time where I was what you wanted, and you started loving me.

And everytime I try not to think about you,
it's you, just you
and the soundtrack to our love.

It's in the way you pull me closer,
tug the collar I still can't take off
breath your lust into me
and sweep me back to Neverland.

You've become my pixie dust,
my addiction..
my dirty little not-so-secret.

And everytime you come around,
everytime you tempt me with
"I love you."
Everytime you graze my skin in passing
everytime you've held my hand to you...
I have to mainline you straight to my heart,
drip you passed my eyes to my brain,
smell you into oblivion,
and trip you into my soul.

I know your effects,
I know what it's like to roll with you in me..
The lightshows have always been ecstacy.
Pure love found in midnight hours,
at twilight,
sunrise,
noon.

I just lose myself to the feeling of it all
knowing that it might not come again.

And now I'm itching for another hit,
jonesing for one more kiss,
twitching for another night in your arms where I can say "goodbye".

Wishing that I had enough in me to earn you.
Praying that the God I've always heard about can hear me.
Screaming inside as you hug me while I cry for you.

"You can't do this to me.. You can't love me while you're breaking my heart."

I've chased you passed this point of no return, and there can be no rehab now.
It's got to be, like you said, cold turkey.
So I'm cutting off the hand you used to hold,
I'm burning out my soul,
I'm mutilating the heart you used to know
So that there is no space for you in me anymore.

Rip the Serenity Prayer from my throat and tell me there were no diamonds in my sky.
Break the tape of affirmations in my mind and tell me it was all just powered sugar.
Cut off the fingers laced between yours and tell me it was just my imagination..

Release me...

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